End of one era, beginning of another...

Sunset 1/1/10

Well after five years, I've decided that it's time to put "subtle being" to rest, at least for an indefinite period of time. You might call it a casualty of my attempt to join the "real world," but I prefer to think that this place has served its purpose, and served it well, and now it's simply time to move on to other things.

In a weird way, I'm not actually sure what that purpose was. I can feel it, I just can't put it into words. I suppose it's more of a practice, really. When I created this blog, I described it like so:

i guess this is an effort toward the verbalization of my experience.
perhaps it's futile, but also there is a chance that it might be worthwhile.
let's call it an experiment in space and time
-- a search for something to please and amuse--
an attempt to find something true and meaningful within my day-to-day existence.

Looking back, I've experienced much pleasure and amusement over the past few years, and some darkness too. But in all I think my search was successful--I have found something, many things, actually, that I believe to be true and meaningful in this world. I'm not going to try to explain what that is, because if there's one thing I've learned through all this it is that words can't do justice to life. Indeed, what really matters -- what is really real -- is not something that anyone can point out or describe or capture at all. Any verbalization of experience is by definition incomplete.

Instead, you've got to find "it" for yourself, wherever you can. I also don't believe that any of us have a say in when and where that will be. Or how, for that matter. It just comes, and then you realize it was here all along. My advice is to just keep laughing, then hold on and try to enjoy the ride.

Oh, and I should warn you that it may disappear from time to time, and you'll feel like you're in the dark again and you won't have any idea what to do. But don't worry, it will be back. Just like the sun, it never really went away at all...

Good luck, and much love,

Brooks